Surrogate Journey - The beginning

The decision to become a gestational surrogate was very intense and purposeful. I remember back in high school having thoughts like, "It would be cool to be a surrogate someday and help an infertile couple bring life into the world." Of course, my thinking ended there. Well, back in October 2013 thoughts of becoming a surrogate kept popping into my mind. Since I have about a thousand thoughts a day I simply went on.

However, after it continued to randomly come up either in conversations with others, books, tv shows, etc. I thought I might actually look into it. I researched gestational surrogacy (this is much different than traditional surrogacy because the child is in no way biologically mine) and found a reputable company based out of Chicago. They work all over the world (although we were not open to international couples because we wanted a closer relationship with the parents).

Michael and I discussed this and prayed A LOT about this possibility. Every time I prayed and every time Michael and I discussed it I could visualize a couple that needed US. I imagined the perfect family with the same personal convictions that would be the perfect match for us. Every time I prayed I felt an indescribable sense of peace regarding this decision.

We proceeded to contact the agency and start the intense application process. One aspect I love about the company we chose is this part. While time consuming, I love that they take the prerequisite work very seriously. They want to make sure they match you with the perfect couple and that you are a strong enough person to go through this very emotional journey.

My biggest fear throughout this whole process has been if this would bring glory to God and what others will think (I know I shouldn't care about what others think). I asked a spiritual mentor her opinion on if this is Biblical, and she was a great support. She did research and agreed that as long as life in not compromised (no abortion or selective reduction) she thought it would be a very selfless act and bring glory to God. We also discussed this with a select few people regarding their thoughts on it and everyone has been very supportive.

From January through May we were in weekly and sometimes daily contact with the agency trying to get everything to them that they needed. In May we were finally approved and the next day we were matched! This was such an exciting day for us! I just cried reading their biography thinking that they will be the perfect match for us.

We met them for the 1st time on June 7th, 2014. This 1st meeting was very structured and with the psychologist that spent the 4 hours prior meeting with me and Michael to make sure we were psychologically healthy to enter this type of a relationship/experience (the intended parents went through the same thing at an earlier date). I was nervous about the meeting.

I was concerned that we wouldn't "click" or agree on the big deal breaker issues. The psychologist led us through a discussion on everything one could think of regarding the conception, pregnancy and birth. I felt that we were all on the same page on every single issue! This was such a relief.

After this meeting we were ready to jump all in, but again it would be more waiting. The contract had to be finished, our attorneys needed to review it and I had to go to the University of Iowa fertility clinic to get my uterus inspected, get testing done and do a mock transfer so the doctors know what to expect the day of transfer.

Going to my first appointment was an exciting day. I felt like we were actually getting somewhere. I got told I have a "beautiful uterus," which made me laugh. I have never been given so much attention from a doctor. I felt like the 2 doctors I had that day had all of the time in the world for me. They wanted to make sure every question I could possibly have was answered.

Micki (the intended mama) came to Iowa City to meet up with me. She took me out to lunch, and it was so great to start building a very intimate relationship with someone I barely know. It was nice to be able to just talk and have it not be as structured as our 1st meeting.

Within the next month we signed the final contract and were in the clear to move forward with the IVF transfer. It took a good month to prep my body for the transfer. I had a take different meds and shots. Then the transfer day finally came.

Oh, what a surreal day this was. On the way to the U of I hospital I was overwhelmed with emotion with what was about to happen. I felt peace and contentment, but I was also scared about what if's. I was scared of losing their baby that is entrusted to me in my body. I could write a whole post about the transfer experience; it was just so special! It was just me and Micki in the room, and it couldn't have gone any more perfect!

While hopeful, we were all on edge as we wait for that positive pregnancy test. It's a 10 day wait before I had an actual doctors appointment, but of course I was taking test much earlier at home. Oh I will never forget that early morning (just 5 days after the transfer) when I was standing there waiting the 2 minutes before looking at the pregnancy test and then seeing not one, but TWO lines! It was positive!!